Canine Hierarchy

Lady, our fourteen year old Maremma, has had the carelessness to come into season.  You’d think at her age she’d be taking a well earned rest.  Not so.

And in a vain and hopeless attempt at romance, Firenze remains faithfully by her side, leaving the care of the chooks to his three inexperienced, though enthusiastic, offspring, who, being adolescents, are still not entirely sure of their path in life and whether it wouldn’t be just as much fun to chase the birds as the foxes.

Even though Firenze’s physical capacity to take advantage of this romantic situation has been permanently curtailed, he still maintains a constant vigil, warding off the attentions of the only suitor on the farm with his equipment intact – the Jack Russell terrier, Snoopy.

Snoopy is spending his spare time doing extremely wide orbits around the pair, hoping that Firenze will have a momentary lapse of focus or even better, doze off entirely, leaving the way clear for him.

He dare not get too close as he has been on the receiving end of some harsh lessons dealt out by Firenze on the subject of the canine pecking order at Brigadoon and it’s enough to make him slightly wary in a situation this volatile.

Ordinarily, Snoopy doesn’t respect this pecking order and he is constantly testing the possibility of a coup d’etat, being entirely unaware of his lack of size and strength.  His plan of attack on the highest power on the farm never varies from bald-faced aggression with his main strategy being to hurl himself at Firenze’s frustratingly fluffy throat.  He has been summarily defeated countless times, sustained two large open wounds and once was simply sat on – and I’m sure I saw Frenzy grinning at the time.

But when a female is involved, even this small single-digit-IQ dog seems to realise that there will be no quarter shown and no mercy, and his only option, aside from a glorious death in battle, is deceit, patience and a wide berth.

Perhaps a visit to the vet is in order as I doubt shaggy white dogs with extremely short legs will be a saleable item and it might take the edge off Snoopy’s quest for world domination.