Vehicle Woes

John has the ability to fix most things, often with a piece of wire.  But this facility has been cultivated out of necessity because of his uncanny knack of breaking things.

I came past his rear end protruding from under the bonnet of the broken down van and asked how he was going with it.  He moaned from somewhere in the depths of the engine that he’d spent all morning fixing the things he’d broken yesterday, and was only just “caught up” to where he’d been before.

“Well, that should free you up to break some more stuff this afternoon”, I remarked.  You would forgive my wry comment if you had lived through the month we’ve just endured.

Apparently he’d melted an extension lead when welding and accidentally severed the cord on his new router as well.  But those mishaps came on the back of a month that included, among various minor problems, four major vehicle breakdowns – roughly one a week.

As I said at the start, John can fix things and that includes cars.  So he took on the job of replacing the “head” in the van.  For you females that have been denied the opportunity to listen extensively to male conversations on the internal combustion engine, the head is, I think, roughly in the middle and on top of the engine and looks like it’s on life support with all these leads coming out of it.

In true male style, John deigned to read the instructions specific to this particular vehicle, relying instead on past experience with a multitude of other machines.  It was more when the job was “complete” that he needed to know what the leftover O-ring in the gasket kit was for.

You can’t take the head off once you’ve put it on.  So the solution was to drop the whole engine out, slide it forward – just enough to squeeze the little black ring into where it was supposed to be.  After much ado and mutterings about “top dead centre” and timing belts, the van was running again.

That is, until the precise moment when it was fully packed for the trip to Sydney.  I came out with the last box of eggs to see John staring at the ground.  Something in the slump of the shoulders prompted me to ask the matter.

Sigh…….“The waterpump”.

(The epilogue to that weekend – he took the family car to Sydney and a kangaroo ran into the side of it, wrecking headlight and two panels.  Murphy’s Law is real)